At Q’s school, there’s a question on the white board each morning, and kids read it and write a response below. Everyone can then see their response and they usually discuss the variety of experiences, opinions, etc. in those responses.
Today’s question: Do you break boy-girl stereotypes? (spurred on by kids from an older class coming in later today to talk about stereotypes and, I believe, do a survey about them — did I mention I love our school?)
Q’s response on the board? “No.”
My internal response: “What?!?!?!?”
There stood my kid, clad wholly in clothes from the “girl” side of the store. Growing out his hair. Purple shoes. And he said he doesn’t break those stereotypes.
Part of me was shocked, part intrigued, part worried. I’ll admit to worried, because last year he talked about how he was a stereotype breaker all the time. This year, not so much. And this seemed to be the clearest message possible.
Now of course I’m fine with however he wants to be and identify and dress and all that jazz. I just still worry that there’s something he now feels like he has to hide (see my last post). I could be wrong. But what if I’m right?
I think I need some advice and opinions here (even if just to tell me to chill the heck out!).
I’m curious if you asked him about it and what he said. No thoughts or advice — but definitely intrigued!
I asked him about his hair. He said it wasn’t yet long enough to break stereotypes. I think that’s partly because he wants it down to the middle of his back — so it’s not long enough for HIM. I’ll ask him more later, mood depending. 😉 And I’ll report back!
My two cents are that this may be age related- he may be trying to answer as the other children answer even as he knows his answer is truly different.
I have a daughter who refuses all things “girl”. Given a choice she’d wear not just boys clothes, but formal mens suits every day. I don’t allow the suits (as I wouldn’t allow party dresses) for pre-k wear, but I don’t force her into girls clothes either. We are not in as progressive an area as you describe (although we’re not in a bad spot either) and our girl definitely stands out. She’s been teased some, but right now cares more about making her own choices than pleasing her classmates. I’m quite curious to see if that choice will ever shift.
I definitely think it’s age related. He’s moving into more of a “looking out at others” phase, as opposed to just thinking about himself. I wonder if he knows his answer *might* truly be different. Or if he’d tell me. I’ll have to see.
Q continues to fascinate and delight me.