I’m trying, but it’s a hard day in the domain of queer rights. I told Q this evening that the judges in CA decided to keep gay marriage illegal. The look of sadness and anger on his face was heartbreaking. Tears were close to the surface. This boy understands. Not only does he understand what the ruling means, but he understands the implications for queer couples and families, for families like his. He told us that anyone should be able to marry who they want. And he was emphatic. And ultimately, I think it’s that simple. But that simplicity is hidden under an ugly tangle of hate, misunderstanding, history, and injustice. And it’s untangling that mess that still needs to happen.
Yes, I want the mess untangled so that other queer folks can get married — tomorrow, next month, next year. But more importantly, I want it untangled so that Q and his peers, when they grow up, see a wide horizon of possibilities. So that they know they lived through change and that change brought with it rights and choices — to marry who they want, to live how they want, to have whatever identity they choose.
Q chooses what identity he steps into on a daily basis. And he makes empowered choices. Little stands in the way of those choices, it seems. And I want him to walk into a future where little stands in the way of anyone’s choices, particularly when it comes to love and partnership and committing one’s love to another.