I realize that, given WordPress’s strange timing, that I have yet to figure out, this post looks like it’s written on Monday. But I promise it’s Sunday eve.
I wanted to offer a few mother’s day wishes as well as reflections. First off, in a home with two mothers, mothers’ day (as it were) is interesting. In a way, every day is mothers’ day. There’s no one else around to pamper us, give us time “off,” etc. In spite of the lack of being lavished with certain luxuries and attention, I like having a day that bids us both to take a few extra moments to reflect on the joy of mothering our dear boy, of being able to do it in the context of our amazing partnership, and what an amazing journey being a mother is, especially when embarked upon by TWO mothers. I recognize that once again today — on year five of the journey.
Reflecting on mothering our particular boy, as I do in this space, is so interesting, heart-wrenching, boundary-pushing, and awe-inspiring. I realize, now so more than ever, how much I have to sit back and let him develop, then offer my love and support. Although I’m constantly offering guidance in terms of the mundane aspects of day-to-day life, I find that I have to step back more and let Q lead. Let him tell show me how he’d like to play with others. How he’d like to dress. What books he wants to read. What passions he’d like to pursue. And I’m just really coming to recognize how hard it is to stand back and let him lead. Now, I must admit that that’s something that is challenging for me in all areas of life, but in the domain of mothering Q, it is proving to be a certain and real and daily challenge. I have to hold back on my desire to protect him (the domain of clothing being a big one here, of course). Then at the same time I have to reserve my compulsion to push him in other areas (music, reading, writing, etc.) This internal tug of war is hard! Yet when I step back for a moment to admire the self-assured, beautiful boy that he is, my heart swells with joy. Joy at the fact that I get to be a part of this little boy’s life every day, always. And for mother’s day, I couldn’t ask for anything better.