Identity

I’ve had a few identity conversations lately with Q. Not of the “what’s your identity” type, as he doesn’t seem to have many questions around that, but more of the type that gets into the grey areas of how he plays out his preferences. Like about his hair and his clothing choices. It’s interesting to [...]

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Why Hello!

It’s been slow going in blogland as regular life has been too much to keep up with. Now that there are two small folk in the house, of course. But, I wanted to share a quick picture of baby W — already fighting the good fight! This shirt was made for W by a lovely [...]

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Thanks! And looking ahead

Thanks for all the congratulatory wishes on W’s arrival. More on that in days and weeks to come, I’m sure. A few of you asked if Q is excited for the start of school, and the answer is a resounding YES! He is a school lover. In spite of the extra social pressures he feels [...]

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Update: Conundrum clarified (mostly)

Following the advice many of you gave, I checked back in with Q about the stereotype conversation. ‘Twas interesting and enlightening for sure. Among other things, I asked him what boy stereotypes he knew of. Mainly, he talked about “boy colors.” And he explained that the reason he doesn’t break stereotypes is that he likes [...]

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A study in contradictions

At Q’s school, there’s a question on the white board each morning, and kids read it and write a response below. Everyone can then see their response and they usually discuss the variety of experiences, opinions, etc. in those responses. Today’s question: Do you break boy-girl stereotypes? (spurred on by kids from an older class [...]

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It’s so easy to get away with

It’s so easy to get away with making closed-minded statements about folks who don’t conform to gender norms. Or to sexuality norms. It remains so very easy. I don’t think that it’s the LAST acceptable stereotype or prejudice, but it remains an acceptable one. This weekend I was part of a discussion on a different [...]

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The power of markers

Gender markers, that is. I’m continually fascinated by how folks read gender markers on Q. For example, this weekend, he was wearing jeans and a turquoise shirt (not too “loud” turquoise). He declared it “a blue day” — nothing about gender, just really about style. We were walking around our liberal town and he was [...]

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Mechanically-inclined

This morning, Q was looking through a catalog, pointing out things to me that he was interested in. The list included a take-apart model of the human body, a model of a solar house, a robotic arm, and many marble runs. He’s really interested in how things work — looking carefully, taking things apart, etc. [...]

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Disrupting Norms

So, to follow up on my post about gender segregation among kiddos in play, as well as the amazing responses that folks offered on the various things we think are at the root of this, I ask for your thoughts again. How do we start to disrupt these patterns? One “I only ‘comment’ in person” [...]

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What is it with gender dynamics?

I’m so very curious about gender dynamics among kids. Really and truly curious. Not curious in the annoyed sort of way. Honestly. So here’s what I’m curious about: Why is it that, especially as they get older, girls tend to gravitate towards girls (for play, hanging out, partners in school things, etc) and boys to [...]

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