I’ve been searching around for a real purpose to my blogging, and it finally struck me the other night. As I cuddled up with my lovely 5 year old boy, who nuzzled his head right into the space between chin and shoulder, I thought about him, clothed in his lovely lavender blanket sleeper, having just read a book about fairies. He’s of a different ilk, this boy. He walks to the beat of his own drummer. He sees the world through different eyes. I think he’s very free, in many ways. He chooses what he likes freely, he follows his passions freely. And luckily he’s found a way to develop these passions free (or in spite of) many of the societal norms thrust (HARD) upon boys. Although he refused to like pink for 8 months and cried his eyes out after finally admitting that he was told that pink is only for girls but he “really loves it,” he is mostly steadfast and unburdened by his love of purple, headbands, fairies, and such.
I marvel at this fact often. While we’ve tried to raise him without the boundaries put on boys (or girls for that matter) because of their gender, we live in a world that screams out those boundaries at every turn. So they are hard to avoid. So I marvel at his ability to avoid them or to stand so firmly in the face of them. And that’s what this blog is about — the considerations of his journey. How we’ve gotten here, where he’s going, the bumps, messages, and judgments that the world offers.
There’s much I have to figure out about raising this boy confidently and lovingly and with an independence to continue to follow his dreams and passions, whatever they might be.
So that’s why I’m here. And I hope you’ll join me, because this surely is not a journey to embark upon alone. It takes many strong and steadfast partners, for sure. And please add your wisdom at every turn. I rely on it.



I just found your blog, and I already want to be a parent like you when I grow up =)
Your boy deserves a standing ovation, too. I know how hard it is to stand up to gender expectations, but I can’t imagine having that strength at such a young age!
Thanks! Too, too kind. And yes, I think my boy is a courageous one.
I’m a 20 year old female and I have the deepest admiration for you.
The deepest.
I wish my 10 year old brother could know your son.
I’ve watched my brother grow and adapt to societal norms. I cannot filter out the outside world, but whenever possible I try to let him know implicitly or explicitly that he is loved no matter how he expresses himself.
One day he came home from school with his nails painted (a fun joke that a few other boys at school took part in as well) which got our family very excited. Thankfully it wasn’t in a completely hateful, shaming way, they just found it highly amusing. They teased him about ‘being gay’, and though not hostile the remarks were still meant to discourage him from acting feminine. I’d never been more determined to give him the message that it wasn’t a big deal, that it wasn’t wrong, and that it accentuated how beautiful his hands were (truly they were gorgeous). Just trying to counteract the remarks from my family was very difficult for me to try and accomplish. I tried to focus on being affirmative and casual (“Aw sweet! Wow, whoever did this did a really good job…Nice color choice! Nah, don’t take it off it looks awesome!”). I hope I was successful in making him feel loved and not discouraged from doing something he seemed to genuinely enjoy (he kept the nail polish on for a day or two, unfortunately his school’s dress code does not allow for it on boys).
Anyway, you have been favorited. And you have made my day.
I am so happy to have stumbled upon your blog– I just gave birth to a beautiful boy, and find myself in an unusual situation. I am a feminist and have looked at life through the gender lens since I was in middle school. HOwever, mostly my energy was spentt hinking about breaking barriers for girls/women. Now, with a baby boy, I am realizing that I have much to learn about how gender affects boys in our society. While he is only 2 months old, I already see how my family members use words to describe my son– “brave”, “hardy”, and they look forward to teaching him to play golf and engage him in fantasy football. I want to allow him to find his own passions and will love him for them. Thank you for giving us a place to consider the challenges faced by our boys/men in our society. Men need a revolution to counter the expectations and stereotypes, in order for us all to be truly “liberated” and evolve as a society– maybe this is the start of that revolution!?!?
Best,
Monica
hi, i’m happy to have found you. i’m raising 2 little boys in a small, conservative town in argentina. so far my resistance to ‘boys have short hair and reject all things pink’ has only won me a few strange looks, but as my monsters grow i can only imagine that things will get more complicated.
i’ll be visiting your site for some strength and inspiration – thanks!
Ran across your site referenced on a TG/TS author’s website and thought I’d take a look. Just want to tell you how wonderful I think the way you are raising your son is. It was about his age that I understood I was not what everybody said I was, but that was strongly rejected by my family. It was many years later before I was finally able to take the first steps to becoming the real me.
You and your partner seem to be wonderful people, bless you. And all the best to your son, we need many more like him, raised to be unafraid to express who he is.
Karen J.
Hi there,
I love your site! I’m also writing about my pink boy–if you want to take a look, check out http://www.sarahhoffmanwriter.com. I will post a link to your blog on facebook and twitter today! Keep up the excellent work!! Our boys deserve our support, they are brave and endure so much just by being who they are.
Sarah Hoffman
Sarah,
Thanks so much for visiting! I’ve actually read a bit of your writing about pink boys and truly love it! Thanks for the links…I must add yours to my site as well. And yes, these are some wonderfully brave boys! The world needs more of them.
Thanks for putting a link to my site…actually I have a section on my site that links to blogs like ours, I’ll add yours there as well. Good luck with the writing and let’s keep in touch!
Sarah
Hi,
I also just discovered your site (thanks to Sarah!). I also have a 1st grade boy who loves all things girl. It’s wonderful reading another parent’s experience raising a boy who likes girl things. I can’t wait to read more of your posts!
~GirlyBoyMama
Great to “see” you here! Just checked out your blog. Great to see another pink/girly boy out there and a mom chronicling the journey! Off to link you up on my blogroll!
Thanks for the blog! We too (a gay couple, no less) are raising a similar boy.
Keep up the good work!
I just discovered your blog and I cannot wait to read more of it. My son is 4 years old and he is so much like your little guy. He wears dresses to school very day, is growing out his hair, etc. While our experience thus far with the school administration, other kids and parents, etc. has been extremely positive, we haven’t ever met any other little boys like our sweet kid. I am so excited to conect with other mums of ‘pink boys’. Thank you so much!