I’m so not a fan of “holidays” that are trumped up opportunities for commercialism. For me, Halloween is one of them, though not as bad as some.
We don’t do much in our family for Halloween, though Q usually has some sort of costume — last year, an entirely purple fairy. This year, a vampire. Mighty flexible in his presentations, that kid!
What irks me the most is how maddeningly stereotypical we (society) are about costumes and costume choices for kids. We expect boys to be pirate and girls to be princesses. Or perhaps boys to be lions and girls to be cute puppies. Or pandas. But the moment a girl dons a ghoulish costume or a boy puts on a fairy costume (or a tutu, for that matter), it’s shocking. Furthermore, that girl is accepted, and is perhaps “daring” to take on such a scary identity. The boy — the on in the fairy costume — he gets little more than sideways glances, perhaps a few whispered comments passed behind his back. Because society isn’t okay with that type of crossing the lines. Not for boys. And Halloween just turns a huge magnifying glass on those dynamics. Hence contributing to my distaste for the holiday. Call me uncool, lacking in the ability to have a good time…fine. All I’m saying is read between the lines a bit, and Halloween provides us a perfect chance to do just that.
This photo fails to capture the accompanying patent leather shoes.... 
The way that boys seem to be more constrained by gender norms is partiqularly prominent in teenage years. As a bisexual girl I find that most other teens are cool with girls “making out with” girls at a party. Whereas a boy that is to hold another boy’s hand would risk negative and violent reactions, as a reaction to being labeled “gay”. (Although my bias is being so comfortable in my own skin that it seems competely normal to like both girls and boys), it seems that others don’t offer a second glance if a girl slides out of a gender box, whereas for my unopenly gay male friends, eveen miniscule hints at nonconformity promt a cascade of objection from others. Maybe because of traditional gendder roles, where it is deemed more acceptable for women to show affection for eachother thna males. It just seems harder to be a queer male than female in a hetersexual-predominent society. Any other experiences regarding this?
At the risk of sounding like I’m in a freshman women’s studies seminar, I think this is because of the patriarchy. Men have a higher status than women in our society. So if a women steps outside of her gender role, she is seen as trading up. A boy who does the same is seen as trading down, and people have a violent reaction to that.
Don’t think that sounds froshmoric at all…in fact, I think it’s an important point to bring to light. Thanks!