Based on things I’ve overhead or read recently:
- Why do we assume that all boys like bugs? Or that only boys like bugs?
- Why do we all know what someone means if they say they want something in “a boy color?”
- Why do kids as young as four “know” that fairies are for girls (only)?
- Why do we discourage things such as long hair for boys, yet short hair is “cute” for girls?
- Why is empathy a woman’s natural art?
- Why do we assume that all boys like balls and that all men must be able to teach ball games to boys?
- Why are female baseball players extraordinary and male ballet dancers “gay/queer/strange?”
Any to add to the list?
Why do we assume that boys only like sports (and girls never do)?
Why do we assume that the only boys who play the flute (or harp) are gay?
Why do we assume that boys/men who figure skate are gay?
Why do assume that girls are not good with computers or technology?
Why do we think that boys/men shouldn’t knit?
Why don’t we let boys cry?
(I could go on)
The harp thing drives me CRAZY. I am a harpist, and even a light concert instrument weighs about 80 pounds! Girlie instrument, yeah right! Also, the two folks generally recognized as the greatest harpists of the 20th century were both male. (And one of those was quite the womanizer, so the “all male harpists are gay” thing doesn’t hold water, either.)
You could potentially blame one of those harpists for the stereotype of harpists being female, though–Carlos Salzedo taught many of the harp teachers in America, or taught the current teacher’s teachers, and I have never seen a picture of him with male students. All of them that I am aware of were female, and he required all of them to wear long white skirts and also long white dresses. He married at least two of his students that I am aware of–I had heard it was five, but I have been unable to verify that with any reputable source. So it’s possible that the perception of harp as a girly instrument comes from Salzedo and his bevy of female students.
why do people assume that only girls like flowers?
why are there gender distinctions for fast food meals or birthday cakes (overheard when someone was picking up a birthday cake for their child named Alex: “is this cake for a boy or a girl?”)?
WHY ARE BOYS DISCOURAGED FROM LIKING PINK? (My son loves pink.)
Why are tools and tool kits aimed at boys, while kitchen stuff is aimed at girls?
why can’t boys put barrettes and such in their hair?
Why do people in hospitals (not doctors) think that big and/or bald babies look like boys?
What role does biology play in this? We deliberately set up our toys for our first child (a boy) to have a range of “girl” and “boy” toys to choose from. His father was his primary care giver. Yet he was drawn to the trucks/trains so much more than the dolls/dress up/cooking stuff. Why?
How can a parent tell if they’re unconsciously influencing their child’s choices? (The very fact that you HAVE dresses your son could wear is unique – unless he’s got an older sister.)
Is the fact that children’s toys and gear are sooo gendered a reflection on what manufacturers think parents want for their children, or is it based on marketing experience – parents don’t buy trucks for girls or dolls for boys?
A) it’s subconscious, not unconscious
B) They have dresses because Q likes dresses
Why do we assume that boys want to make money?
I don’t see the pink phenomenon about excluding boys as much as it is limiting the acceptable options available to our daughters and confining them to a paler hue of life.
Why do we assume that parents of girls want their daughters to be slim?
The pink thing bugs me. I have three sons, one daughter. My boys wore every colour under the rainbow (including pink) but simply cut-no frills and flounces. My daughter is now two, and she doesn’t recognise the colour pink- she calls it red, but it is her favourite colour. Everything we could want for her, though, comes in red
The sad fact is that IME, boys can be and do exactly what they want to because boys mothers have been very good at fighting for boy acceptance for years and years, and challenging the stereotypes. We have primary school teachers who recognise that some boys have difficulty sitting still, some boys love reading and not all boys love football, and that attitude spreads across the rest of life. I don’t see the acceptance of a little girl who wants to run around rather than sit on the mat at storytime, though, or the one who screams at the top of her voice with happiness when she’s swinging up high- and it looks like a lot of the pp’s are also mums of boys.
I can see another question- why do mothers of boys fight harder for their children to express their individuality? Indeed, do they?
Why are people surprised that my son likes dolls and my daughter likes trucks? (They both like dolls and trucks pretty much equally, from what I can tell.)
Why is my 2-yr-old daughter called a tom boy when she runs around wearing clothes designed for an active child?
Why do people laugh when they see my son holding a pink teddy bear and my daughter holding a blue teddy bear?
Why is my husband an awesome father because he took paternity leave and I am a bad mother since I work part time outside the home?
Why does it seem like forever since we last got together for dinner, discussion and good old family fun?
Why do I keep forgetting to pay K the money I owe her from the class gift?
Why do they even make unsalted potato chips?
and why am I on the computer at 1:52 in the morning?
Interestingly in Europe it is a lot more common for boys to have long hair. My little cousin who lives in England, has long wavy hair down to his shoulders. He is ten, and reminds me of my sister at that age. She had shoulder length wavy hair, and usually wore boys clothes.
I often have had the experience walking down the street in Europe (England, Holland, Spain) and not knowing a kid/person’s gender. The androgynous look is more common.
Also just wanted to say that I found your blog recently, linking from genderkid’s blog. I’m really enjoying reading all your entries and your musings about how gendered our world is–particularly in terms of children’s toys/clothes etc. It irks me too! The stories about Q make me really happy, changing the world one skirt at a time.