So here’s the thing: My son loves fairies. Loves them. He can’t read enough books about fairies. He sees fairies out in the world. He has two fairy friends (albeit introduced by me, but propagated by him) who live in his bedroom. They communicate through written notes. So why does a book about fairies have to be a GIRLS’ book? Really.
I know that fairies “typically” fall into the category of “girl things,” but oh how I wish that authors or publishers did not feel compelled to label this book about fairies (like so many other things) with the gender of children for whom they (wrongfully) intend it. This narrowing of the market also narrows our collective consciousness. Even if someone knew that Q loved fairies, I’m certain they would not share this book with him. It’s for girls after all. And now it sends the message to anyone and everyone that fairies are only for girls. And, most importantly, sends the message to boys that, if they like fairies, that is wrong. Or they are really girls. So much for the broadening and opening of minds.
Of all things, I see literature as a place where Q can open up his imagination. He can see himself in any character, because that happens in his imagination. And he has done this with books about fairies to this point. Even though they feature mainly female characters, he identifies with them, delves into the stories, brings them alive in his life and his play. And I fear that once he can read he will see labels like the ones on the book above and they will send a message, loud and clear, that something is wrong. This book (and these kinds of books) are not for him. Or, if they are for him, something must be wrong with him. And that narrowing of choices and possibilities angers me. Beyond belief.
I have a son who loves fairies. Please, just let that love flourish as opposed to being shut away by some external source that is trying to align with social norms. And in so doing unwittingly promoting them.
Have you seen Brian Froud’s artwork yet? I love his Fairy books- and it really brought home to me the idea that magic and beauty have nothing to do with synthetic pink, and far less to do with girls. Both of my boys have gone through spells of being faery-obsessed, though, which I love- and oddly, my child who is hung up on conformity and fitting in and “can’t do that, it’s a girl thing” is the one who still talks about fairy ponds.
I know this doesn’t change the world but I have a strip of purple duct tape that you can use to smack right over “the girls” and write Q’s name to “personalize” it!
I agree, not fair! I’m also skeptical of the d@ngerous book for boys and the d@ring book for girls… why separate and assign?
Anyway, I’m enjoying reading your new blog very much and thinking critically about gender roles and such. I was looking at webpages related to the book you’re talking about (to see just why the book is for girls) and came across this image that just reminded me of the pictures I’ve seen of Q. Adorable little crocus boy!
http://www.gardenfairy.com/fairy/crocusboy.htm
Piggybacking on Helen’s comment above – I have the book “Faeries” by Brian Froud and Alan Lee. It was my sister’s, as she was into Rien Poorvliet’s Gnomes and my parents must have thought she would like this one as well. It’s rather advanced, so to speak – the pictures are not all sweet, cute fairies, and it’s got quite a bit of text. You might like to look at it and see what you think before you were to give it to him but it is DEFINITELY not a gender-specific book. If you can’t find it in print, I’d be willing to lend you my copy – drop me an e-mail. cheers. Q is so sweet.
I agree with the Brian Froud idea. His art has fairies that are feminine, manly, mean, mischevious, innocent… and he’ll get the idea that people who like fairies can be a world of different things, too.
The new Disney fairies freak me out. All of the popular good girl fairies have tons of stuff in their little fairy houses–lots of jewels and toys and so forth. The lonely “mean girl” fairy has nothing in her house except a potted plant. I think the message this is supposed to send is that if you want to be a nice girl and have lots of friends, you should have lots of stuff. Oh, Disney, how you terrify me.
Perhaps looking into some of the more traditional fairy folklore? I imagine you can find a lot of it on the internet, probably with illustrations from Project Gutenberg, and put together and print your own book on Winkflash.com.
Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts upset me a lot as a child. I wanted to be a Boy Scout, because they did all the cool stuff, but they wouldn’t let me. Now they upset me for similar reasons. Not made of gender identity win.