We’re on day number 4 of dresses here. I think that Mere was right when she said that Q knew I had this place as a support community, so he’s going full-tilt with the dresses. Or perhaps it’s the weather. Whatever it is, he’s lovin’ them, and I’m working my way through all of the internal dialogue, fears, etc that come along with mothering a boy in a dress.
I said I’d say a word about solidarity. It has meant so much to me, as we encounter folks we know while Q is in a dress to NOT have to deal with strange looks. Two places in particular, I expected looks, but my poor estimation of people’s generosity, open-mindedness, and humanity came right back at me as these folks either said nothing or gave Q a big smile and noted how great it is to be able to get dressed for spring!
Beyond these experiences, there have been folks like T who have taken clear actions in solidarity with me and the boy. On Q’s first day at school in a dress, she brought her little guy to pick up dressed in his gorgeous apron. It hangs down like a skirt and is quite becoming. She noted that it was to support Q, as she usually takes off the apron before leaving the house. Simple things like that mean so very much. And I actually find myself looking forward to the other acts of solidarity that I’m sure are to come. This feels, to a certain extent, like my own little grassroots movement, and the supporters, like T and her little one, are slowly coming out of the woodwork. It means so much to me. More importantly, although he might not know it, it means so much to Q, as the community of support around him and his unique self grows and stands firm. So thanks. And I look forward to continuing to open my mind so that I can see those other acts of solidarity and support that are, I’m sure, to come.
Oh, I love the apron.
i think it’s so funny that i’ve found your blog at this moment! my 5 year old son has never been terribly gender specific about his clothes, and would just as much like to wear his sister’s things as his own. or anything “dress up”. it has changed as he’s gotten older, especially the last year (he won’t wear pink anymore, for instance) but just yesterday i finished sewing a batch of dresses for my 2 daughters and etsy shop and he said, “where’s my dress?” i told him i didn’t know he wanted one, and he said,”yes. i think it’s nice for summer.” so sweet and sincere and honest. he also loves tights/leggings/babylegs legwarmers are his favorite. it is sometimes hard to deal with the looks of strangers, and even other little boys that may not have ever seen a boy in a dress, or tights, or with long hair before. for the longest time my son had somewhat long, curly blonde hair (it’s the same color of your son’s, looks like) and 90% of the time kids or parents would refer to him as a girl. i would just politely correct if it was appropriate, but my son rocked it, he would just say “i’m a boy! my name is rye!” and that would be that. i wish most adults could be as accepting of something so simple, as most children are. anyway, great posts, i am really enjoying your blog.
hi! I just found you via paperdollsforboys. I think it’s beautiful that your little guy feels free to express himself, and that you support him 100%. I bet if we all had the freedom to be ourselves, this would be a much happier world. I guess that’s the point of your blog though, huh? Be easy on yourself. You’re doing a great job!
Doesn’t it feel great when somebody else goes out of their way to show respect for your child and make him feel included?
My son recently went to a ‘superhero’ birthday party. Only boys were invited. The birthday boy’s mom sewed capes for each of the boys to choose – superman, spiderman, aquaman and wonderwoman and batgirl. It was so incrdibly thoughtful of her to make a few girl hero capes for my son to choose from, and of course, he chose wonderwoman.
It was such a small thing but it was such a HUGE huge gesture of acceptance. I don’t know this woman very well but I will never forget her.