I’ve been searching around for a real purpose to my blogging, and it finally struck me the other night. As I cuddled up with my lovely 5 year old boy, who nuzzled his head right into the space between chin and shoulder, I thought about him, clothed in his lovely lavender blanket sleeper, having just read a book about fairies. He’s of a different ilk, this boy. He walks to the beat of his own drummer. He sees the world through different eyes. I think he’s very free, in many ways. He chooses what he likes freely, he follows his passions freely. And luckily he’s found a way to develop these passions free (or in spite of) many of the societal norms thrust (HARD) upon boys. Although he refused to like pink for 8 months and cried his eyes out after finally admitting that he was told that pink is only for girls but he “really loves it,” he is mostly steadfast and unburdened by his love of purple, headbands, fairies, and such.
I marvel at this fact often. While we’ve tried to raise him without the boundaries put on boys (or girls for that matter) because of their gender, we live in a world that screams out those boundaries at every turn. So they are hard to avoid. So I marvel at his ability to avoid them or to stand so firmly in the face of them. And that’s what this blog is about — the considerations of his journey. How we’ve gotten here, where he’s going, the bumps, messages, and judgments that the world offers.
There’s much I have to figure out about raising this boy confidently and lovingly and with an independence to continue to follow his dreams and passions, whatever they might be.
So that’s why I’m here. And I hope you’ll join me, because this surely is not a journey to embark upon alone. It takes many strong and steadfast partners, for sure. And please add your wisdom at every turn. I rely on it.
We are so happy to know you and your lovely family. Q is lucky to have parents who honor him. I look forward to reading more of your mindful parenting – I’m glad we’re on this journey together! Cheers!
Yay to purple lovers! Arden is passionate about all things purple.
When we found out recently that babe #2 is a boy, it was really interesting the responses we got: “Oh, get ready for the firetrucks and diggers and knowing what every kind of emergency vehicle is for!” Well, firetrucks and diggers and ambulances are three of Arden’s favorite things…
But I have to imagine that it’s just much easier for the label-thrusters to handle the image of a girl who loves firetrucks than a boy who loves purple fairies. And that hurts my heart.
Miss you guys…
I love it. It’s nice to find a focus…and this is a good one. I also love the title. It’s fabulous.
Speaking of labels and jars. I’ve spent the last week making labels for my jars…needless to say they’re for produce not people. Since we’re about to start school in the Fall I have so many fears and so much anxiety about the tags, labels, and narrow ideas that we’ll have to dance around, stick on ourselves, and/or rip up in frustration. Here goes nothing…(Luckily we get to follow in your footsteps
. It’s always easier to have someone who’s been through it before to regain perspective. )
Whatever you say to the launching of a ship, I wish upon you! Thank you for writing this journey. I already know two people to send your URL to, and will be checking in here constantly. Bon voyage!
Hi! Thanks for starting this blog – it’s already fascinating. I wandered over from Ravelry.
I had a boy 2 years ago, and while I adore him, figuring out what it means to raise a boy in this society has me flummoxed pretty much continually. (There’s an awful lot more leeway for non-conforming behavior at 2 than there is at 5!) It’s brought all my feelings and questions about gender, body, spirit and feminism to the fore – I’m just at the beginning of ;where the rubber meets the road,’ which seems to be where you live all the time.
I hope you keep blogging for a long, long time.
You have a beautiful child. He’s lucky to have such an open minded mother.
“this surely is not a journey to embark upon alone”
Very few are. Thanks for inviting us along to yours.
I’ll bring the beer.
what a great blog, what a great mom, what a great son!
you must, must, must watch this movie, if you have not already:
Ma vie en rose
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119590/
i think you can buy it on amazon.com
warmly,
rivka